you dont need to be popular to matter

There is some intolerable pressure from society to be someone that is 'popular' and therfore, you never feel content with what good things you do have. To be a small artist simply trying to be true to yourself is never good enough supposedly. I have been feeling the evil of society like a pincer grip on my temples for the longest time, in fact, it's a reason I have had more mental health breaks in recent months. I completely blame the stress from society for this.

People online think they have a right to exert their stupid standards onto other artists, when some of us are just trying to survive and feel happy with what we make. I don't want to change my style to be deemed someone that belongs in the various artistic communities - both local and digital - which I keep trying to engage with. 

Before LMBOW, I kept shapeshifting and feeling like I need to be a different artist in every group, I kept drawing pathetic fanart and doing nothing of value. I hardly dared to do my own original stories for the longest time. I did try a few, but tended to relapse back into Touhou fanart - things that got brief attention in the communities I posted in, but weren't of much substance spiritually!

The funny thing though is, as soon as I started LMBOW, I felt so at peace. I felt like I not only love the way my linework has evolved but love the surreal scenes I was drawing so much. Something in me changed. It has been a truly transformative experience 

I don't want to be popular online. I don't want to be someone that changes my unique essence just to fit in with the masses. Changing my style to be accepted into shitty artists alleys and to pretend I could ever fit in. I cannot do that, ever. 

I don't need outsiders to accept me to know my worth, because I know I've worked so hard to find my stride through my long term comic project. I cherish every free moment I get where I can make progress on LMBOW - and that is heaven enough.