drawing curses

I will draw curses, until people break and see that there is more to living than what you draw. I still want to create beautiful painted images for fun, for the love of art, but not quite as simplistic as that.  

I want to be a visionary actually. I want to change the world. 

I put my fave pictures on my site portfolio, because I'm clinging to a past me before she was seemingly broken by bipolar mania. All the things they said, my dad says its simply just my 'depression'. Depression doesn't do that. It doesn't rob you that hard, mine has been bipolar stealing from me. Torturing me. Wishing me to see the truth. 

What truth? That I'm more than just a drawing? That art isn't everything? What is it then? I'll try to accept it, but until I fully accept it in my heart, I will never return back to my full power as an artist. 

What is it that god (of bipolar) wants me to know? Self love? Radical self love? Unapolageticly radical self love? Which one is it? Waiting game. For the right moment. My temples ache and throb a lot lately, I keep trying to drink enough water, I know it's not dehydration. It's.....it's......a thing.

Hope. Hope like a light in the darkness, clinging to it. Revive to my full power! 

I sing for truth. I dance for justice. 

I will.....revive!