When the church is the only place that you can go to when you're lonely, that's when you'll know the world is changing.
I started to attend church in 2024ish, but it intimidated when I was invited to bible studies at a pastor's house. I felt like I was chucked into the deep end of a pool I couldn't comprehend. It was in my head thought, but I thought these people were making me feel like it was pitiful to have not been raised a Christian. Like my Atheist upbringing was some curse.
I was repuslsed a bit by the idea that you'd 'pray' for someone that didn't know Jesus. I didn't feel like I knew jesus, so I ran away.
In 2026 I decided to attend church again. I was anxious about whether people were judging me for having not attended so long. I also had a baby now because I was a Solo Mum. I found that people smiled at me and my baby and I was welcomed at Lighthouse Church on Jetty road Brighton.
I'm at peace with my atheistic upbringing, because I found Jesus in the end.
Church is a place you go for finding belonging. It's great.
I wanted the world to change, so I'm getting baptised!
I focus on myself first and then pray for the world will change someday.
Why don't you go read Genspect.com if you're so fucking trans and everything.
Why don't you wake up.
Telling little girls they have to change into being a man, because thy are in tune with their animus, is WRONG. The unconcious masculine in real. You are enough. The male part of me will never silence the feminine. I like both.
You who are trans, is threatened. You think your kink for dressing up means you need to change. Why don't you wake up
Little Vela was never enough as a little girl? You fucking fool. You're the one that needs to change.
Go camoflague yourself and mutilate your genitals.
If you're easily offended by my caption on Instagram, you will probably keep on suffering in this life, running away from the truth - because you aren't facing that some people are objectively right and you may have unconcious biases that you haven't faced.
Start facing your demons.
I tried to attend a synagogue because I genuinely admired and respected Jewish traditions. They never got back to me.
You could say I was ghosted by the cool Jewish 'race' club? Yeah, they never 'let me in'. I had to be police screened and everything, it was overkill for a little redheaded girl to have to be checked and verified only to be silently rejected?
The rejection ends here. Stop playing at being. Just start being.
Too bad I am channeling the spirit of the Flat Earth angels. It's all in my comic, but it's not about my comic anymore. It's about saving people using my art, and my art is also my writing.
I am thinking now more about many issues in this world, and race has felt like it underpins a lot of human trauma. I like the work of Your Online Brother on Instagram and Tiktok. I get what he is saying, and am not hurt by being a caucasian Australian being told to care about black people.
I do care about black people, and this guy does an amazing job at making me feel seen for my whiteness, just like he wants to be seen for both as he is of mixed race heritage.
He recently posted about feeling tired at the state of the world, and how he couldn't keep it up when so many people were only there to leave rude comments. There are too many people that cannot face what I called the 'pitch dark' feeling. It isn't 'dark' anymore, I realise, but they haven't faced their insecurities and constantly project and lash out onto others.
You need to stop lashing out at others. I mean this with kindness but embrace regret, meditate on it for fucks sake. Forgiveness is there, if people begin to atone for things they've done, which includes your ancestors impact.
As a white Australian, I have to face the nasty (and good) things my ancestors have done. They've left their marks on this earth, and of course while its not 'all' bad, it's about seeing with your whole brain. Not snapping back and putting down an First Nations Tiktok user just because he wants the world to change.
I have felt the world start to change, and it is amazing.
I want people to start seeing the world through my eyes. It is amazing, but there is still a deep hurt. Just because I am not in pain right now, doesn't mean other people aren't - and that means the world is inequal!
As long as there is inequality, we cannot rest.
One thing I've learnt is that when someone confesses they are hurting online or in person, just tell them they are amazing.
Don't try to act like you don't know the pain. Because it only separates you from connection. Let them know their efforts are seen and felt. Don't push away the 'pitch dark' feeling, the feeling that is yearning for understanding. Meeting a middle ground.
Watch your words when you comment, because as I've said before, words are like curses more often than not. I say the word 'jewish' a lot to mean a placeholder word for human culture I thought I had wanted to be. I say the word 'cathar' to mean some concept of purity and god as well. They are just words, but they have funny meanings when used the way I have.
On a sidenote, first nation's spiritual beliefs are amazing. Absolutely the best. It has been protected for 65,000 years. Anyone that thinks they weren't 'doing anything' in Australia all those years, is an inbecile. Simple as that. Because the spiritual framework that Aboriginal Australians hold, is so immaculate, it is all made clear in their art. It's sacred for a reason, so maybe not everyone will ever get it?
Maybe magical knowledge is sealed away for a reason?
We do kaurna yurta, I love Aboriginal people's beleif system. I love a few different spiritual systems, but I really relate to First Nations People's beliefs because I love Australia.
I hate therapy it's so full of shit. Tell your secrets to the internet and you'll heal yourself. Neocortex is Muren. Limbic is Jezelyn and Reptile brain is Joana.
There is no weak and traumatised inner core.
Superego is Muren. Ego is Jezelyn. Id is Joana. Bernard is just conciousness, floating there.
We do Freud.
The love of the id is redirected—away from the external world—and turned inward.
If this is true, many of our “higher” moral quandaries may actually be sexual in origin (53).
This is your brain on LMBOW.
Everything is Freud. I can more foobars now. Don't be gatekeepers, it's annoying.
I suffered in 'the simulation' real hard before all this. I love pain. But I realised the call to Wandering is stronger. I might have more babies.
I now have a beautiful baby girl. I am a Solo Mum. I don't need to explain it. It'd be great to grow old. Don't drink? Don't have sex? Yes.
It's all just a story you heard online.
I'm rich, if that matters. I have a beautiful holiday home on an unnamed location in South Australia. We could be partying, we could be so alive, but no you choose ignorance.
Joking. We all have bipolar. It's the best. Makes you feel sexy.
I love Fade Out by John Summit and MKLA. On loop. Forever....in case you didn't get it.
Loving life on Kaurna land.
Ouch. No. Meaningful numbers are Big dad. Diabetic is cope. I thought it but I ran away from him.
University was tough because every text we studied in my Creative Writing classes was so esoteric.
I felt like a idiot trying to read this shit, but I love writing? It's been a weird contradiction.
It was also hard for me as a mature age student to feel comfortable around all the younger students. Honestly everytime they followed me on Instagram and saw my behaviour at the time, they freaked out and left me. I couldn't be my true self on social media, someone that is loveable. I kept screaming on my vlogs and critiquing the fabric of reality. And honestly the teachers weren't that supportive of me writing about mental health.
These kids were never really challenged by anything.
So I felt so out of place seated at the big classroom table, out of place in numerous ways, but overall I survived it.
I graduated from Adelaide University in 2025.
Now I make esoteric texts for other people to decipher.
I used to put myself down constantly. I think I liked self abuse. Then, I heard the call of the oxherd, echoing in my heart.
That was the tipping point. When I heard his call, I was writing the naughty stuff for this visual novel below. The words just streamed out of my fingers.
It goes like A. E. I. O. U.
Reminding you of things you already know.
Now, I realise I'm not unlovable and neither are the things I make. I love the art I made during this time (2021-2026 onwards)
The visual novels I made during this time are all on my portfolio site. It is pure unfiltered and beautiful and sexy writing. I'm not putting it down anymore. It's special.
It doesn't pass the Bechdel test. It shouldn't have to. Three females all compete for the male protagonist. Not sorry. You should love Lachlan too.
Make it your dream to take on someone else's dream.
Why does my heart hurt? Why. I love him.
Because old Vela. She always wanted to be heard for her HeartSong.
Now, as new Vela, there is a great weight placed upon me. To make love to the universe.
Listen I don't know what's in the quran, but it's an Abrahamic religion and doesn't take a brain surgeon to realise it would have the same core as the Old Testament..the Torah. Can't you see we're all the same? ✡️✝️☪️
When you go on about Free Palestine you are only ever listening to what the news tells you to care about. Think for yourself for once.
Stick up for Jewish people, properly. Why can't you see, it's just people fighting? That's all it is. People not getting along.
But I need to say, there is no one evil villian that you go protest on the streets about. There's a lot of mini evils.
But quit it with the big bad Jewish 'bad guy' thing.
Before you leave an angry comment, please listen to the playlist I just linked above and be curious on Wikipedia for once. Seek light. Actually show curiosity. Want to change.
I'm talking to YOU.
That one person without a Wikipedia account. The ones that constantly needs to parrot something they heard somewhere else. You are infuriating.
I really don't know if you're thinking for yourself, or if you know that there is a truth. Don't be ignorant. That's a sin.
Try and see clearly. Protesting and blaming Jews for everything is wrong. Killing Jews on Bondi beach is SO WRONG, but you go and willfully forget and complain about Jews still?
What the fuck are you?
It sounds like you're jealous, of what they've accomplished. Oooh, maybe they have something you don't? Are successful? Good with money?
Listen. We do Jewish.
Jewish meaning the oldest and first and forever covenant with god. I feel it. It doesn't mean 'race'. It is just what I feel everyday now since I woke up. I'm still hungry for more but it's amazing.
God. Something was always here and loves people to death. It wants them to not fight.
Ever watched The Prince of Egypt? You know the dancing scene?
It's that.
Jesus Christ? Early Christians? All the same. Together. Happy. Dreams. Through Heaven's Eyes.
When I say we do Jewish, it means THAT.
Do Jewish.
Meaning..... Jesus was it. We just have misunderstandings everywhere. Mistakes everywhere. Don't people want something to believe in? Believe in what I'm saying and drawing. Why don't you believe me?
Why can't you? We have so many good things here in Australia and elsewhere. But still people are hurting.
And I feel too scared to say I'm Jewish?
No. I am Jewish.
Can't you feel it? All the same. Better than better.
Of course I don't want poor little kids to be bombed in Gaza. Of course I think it's horrible. But you don't blame an entire group of people for that suffering.
My words won't help. Words are the problem. They are like curses sometimes, more often than not.
Let your words be blessings.
Let your words fix what's happening in the world.
Let you words wake Jesus up from his long sleep.
We are Cathari!!
Just Google Cathar, you dinguses. It's real.
It is real.
But as you can see, Jewish is a word. Cathar is a word. Both should mean a love of the only God. It means something very ancient and amazing. So hey, you can stop being jealous of this glorious covenant with God, and start joining in. I'm standing up for who I am.
